Skip to main content

Letter To A Friend: Dealing With Jealousy

When I was in my last year of seminary my wife and I began trying to have children. This had been our plan from the beginning; to finish school first and then start our families. We wanted the timing to be "perfect" and being as we were eager to have children we started trying to conceive nine months before graduation.

The first few months were disappointing, but we were assured by everyone that these things just take some time. Then (as it seemed to us) all of our friends began to announce that they were expecting. It seems that many of the students shared our same game plan. So we were happy for them, but began to be more and more impatient as time went on.

We began to resort to desperate thinking, like many people do. Maybe we have done something wrong, maybe God is made at us, maybe we are out of his will.

As we passed the "one year" mark we noticed that our hearts had taken on a new and more dangerous characteristic. We were jealous.

We would look down on other couples who we deemed as unfit parents and complain that we could do a much better job at parenting than they could. We were in a bit of despair.

Then God - acting out of his grace - gave us one verse while we were teaching our third and fourth grade Sunday School class.

Matthew 20:15b "Are you jealous, because I am generous?"

My wife and I cried at the light God had shed on our situation. We were both young, healthy, and in love with each other. We both came from great families and both of us had our Masters Degree. We had many things that a lot of people would desperately love to get. But we wanted more and went so far as to think that God had acted wrongly.

The truth is this; we don't deserve any of the good things that God gives to us, so we should look specifically at those things, tally them up and thank God individually for them all.

And if God chooses to leave a gift or two or all - out of our lives, then we must look to the God who has given us salvation in his son and say, "Thank you God, that You are generous!"

Comments

Anonymous said…
Good word. Hard lesson but a needed message. Thanks for sharing.

Popular posts from this blog

The Generation of Mark 13:30

At the beginning of Mark chapter thirteen Jesus is leaving the temple area and one of his disciples points out the grandure of the temple buildings. Jesus' remark to that disciple concerns the fact that these buildings will one day be torn down. The disciples question Him further as to the times of these events, and so begins an extended teaching from Jesus on the end times.As Jesus' remarks are drawing to a close, He makes this comment in Mark 13:30: "Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place." (NASB) So the reader is left to wonder the meaning of this statement. Either our understanding of generation is wrong, or we are understanding what Jesus meant by "these things" wrong. I think there are at least two solutions. The word for generation (genea: Greek) could mean, as some side column reference Bibles note, "the human race". This is possible, since the events have not all happened and the human race...

Children, Forgive Your Parents

Originally written on August 7, 2005 I remember the first time my father spoke to me as an adult. I was thirty. I had always looked up to my dad because he has many characteristics that are larger than life. Our relationship had always been that of a father and child. It did not change as I became a teenager and as I entered adulthood this unchanging relationship was the cause of much strain. So I was caught off guard as my dad began to speak to me over lunch one day at Chik-fil-a. As he spoke to me he began to confess the things that he had done wrong in raising my brother and me. It was a remarkable moment. Mainly because I noticed very few of his mistakes. He always worked to provide for us, loved my mother with all his heart, gave us plenty of hugs and kisses, and told us that he loved us everyday. So why would he admit to making mistakes in raising his children? After all, he had done a pretty exceptional job. The truth of the matter is that no matter how good we do as parents and...

Confession: An Old Principle Revisited

Originally written on July 24, 2005 On Tuesday The Oprah Winfrey Show aired an episode devoted to people who had suffered tremendous loss at the hands of other individuals. These parties were brought together under the pressure of extreme emotional scaring and anger. When these individuals were in front of each other they were asked to retell their side of the story, recall all of their feelings, admit their wrong doing, and ultimately ask for forgiveness from the individual that they had harmed. This so-called new approach has been labeled as "restorative justice." Oprah called it a radical new approach to emotional healing and was in awe at the success people found who took part in the exercise. What was not brought to the light was the fact that this approach is radical, but it is by no means new. In the New Testament James understood this principle very well. In James 5:16 he states "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you m...